As the custodial parent, there may be instances when you’d prefer your children not spend time with their other parent. In some situations, you may feel it’s safer for your kids. In other circumstances, particularly after a messy divorce, you may want to “punish” your ex.

In either situation, you can’t deny visitation or parenting time to the other parent unless there’s a court order permitting you to do so. If there isn’t a court order, and you prevent the other parent from seeing the children, you’ll likely be found to be in contempt of court, and you may risk losing your own parenting time, paying the other parent’s attorney fees or, in extreme instances, jail time.

To help you navigate the ins and outs of visitation and parenting time, this article will help explain when you may be able to deny the other parent time with your kids and how to go about changing the terms of your custody, visitation or parenting time order.

How does a court determine the terms of a visitation order?

During the divorce process, if the couple has any children from the marriage, visitation and parenting time will be addressed. When the parties can’t reach an agreement themselves, the court will determine custodial rights and parenting time.

If the court grants one parent physical custody of the child for a majority of the time, that parent is referred to as the custodial parent, and the other parent is referred to as the noncustodial parent. 

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Studies have shown it’s in a child’s best interest to have a strong relationship with both parents, so courts usually order parenting time for the noncustodial parent. Common factors that courts use to determine visitation and parenting time include:

• Each parent’s ability to provide love, guidance and affection
• The stability of each parent’s household, including how long each has been there and whether that environment should be maintained
• The moral fitness of each party
• The ability of each parent to provide for the child (including shelter, food, healthcare, clothing and other material needs)
• Each parent’s physical and mental health
• Each parent’s ability and willingness to encourage a close relationship between the child and the other parent
• The child’s history in their home, school and community
• The child’s preference (in certain states, and when the child is old enough)
• The permanence of the proposed custodial home
• Any criminal or domestic violence history of each party involved
• Any other factor relevant to making a decision in the best interests of the child

Can the custodial parent deny visitation?

A custodial parent can’t deny the noncustodial parent visitation unless a court order permits them to do so. 

However, either parent may initiate a modification of an existing order—including an emergency order in certain situations—with the appropriate family court in your jurisdiction. 

Generally, the court requires you to provide the other parent with proper notice of the scheduled hearing and time to respond to your request to modify the existing order. However, in certain instances where an emergency exists, a court may hear an argument from a parent ex-parte (meaning one party only, or when the other parent isn’t notified in advance of the hearing).

At the hearing, whether ex parte or if both parties are present, you’ll each have the opportunity to argue relevant facts and present evidence in your favor. The court will determine what’s in the child’s best interest. Some possibilities include:

• Suspending one parent’s custody, visitation and/or parenting time
• Ordering supervised visitation and/or parenting time
• Ordering the noncustodial parent to take steps to remedy their behavior, such as attending counseling or completing a substance or psychological evaluation

In cases where you suspect the other parent may be abusing or neglecting your child, or you fear for the child’s safety for any reason, it’s recommended to contact the police first. Once you have a police report or any other evidence of dangerous conditions that the other parent creates, then you may wish to contact an experienced family law attorney to discuss your legal options to protect your child and family. You may then be able to get an emergency temporary order from the court. 

Reasons to deny visitation

After a hearing, a court may agree with a parent’s motion to suspend, restrict or temporarily modify the other parent’s visitation or parenting time for reasons such as: 

• Domestic abuse (committed by a parent or someone in the parent’s household)
• Health changes that diminish a parent’s ability to properly care for the child
• Neglect of the child’s needs
• A parent’s substance abuse
• A parent’s criminal acts
• Actions that undermine the relationship between the child and either parent
• Life changes that may affect a parent’s ability to care for a child
• A parent’s refusal to comply with the terms of the current custody, visitation or parenting time order

The standard for modifying custody, visitation or parenting time is there must be a significant change in circumstances from the existing court order. 

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What can courts do to restrict visitation?

If the court chooses to modify a parent’s visitation, it can do so in many ways, such as: 

• Reducing the amount of time the parent has for visitation
• Ordering supervised visitation
• Restricting the parent’s visitation to particular, pre-approved locations

In extreme cases, one parent can petition a court to terminate another parent’s parental rights. States don’t make these decisions lightly and often look for any way to preserve a parent’s relationship with their child. 

If a noncustodial parent consistently places your child in grave danger or refuses to look after your child, many people find it helpful to consult a knowledgeable attorney to determine whether termination is worth considering. 

What happens if I deny visitation without court permission?

Restricting or preventing the other parent from conducting court-ordered visitation or parenting time without a subsequent court order is ill-advised and may subject you to contempt of court, civil fines and, in extreme instances, criminal penalties. 

When to speak with a lawyer

If you believe that your co-parent is putting the child in harm’s way and you’re considering seeking changes to your custody, visitation or parenting time order, a family attorney can assist you. They can help determine when the proper time is to file a modification and/or motion, or how to defend yourself or assert your rights before a judge. Your attorney can also advise if an emergency order may be heard under the circumstances, and if so, how to go about obtaining one.